Present, Past & Future

The other day I was asked what sort of website I am running – and as you know me – I instantly opened my mouth to answer… and got stuck!

What sort of website do I run? It’s definitely about sport and nutrition… but it’s not a fitness website, is it?

It’s definitely about body & mind things, but it’s not a spiritual, psychological or airy fairy site either. Well, a bit airy fairy maybe - I talk a lot about being happy, and how to get there.

I have come across a few people who proclaim that ‘living in the present’ will do the trick and is the ultimate way to happiness. Not sure what that really means, and enrolling in discussions with them usually doesn’t bring any clarification either. It seems to be a lot about ‘not dwelling in the past’, ‘not worrying about the future’ and ‘enjoying the moment’ – Yeah, try that when you have the runs!

I came across some people who live their lives like that, and come to think of it, I did in the past, hence me not having a proper pension at age 45. Well, what can I say: Most of these people are not really happy bunnies and some of them are in serious trouble and stumble from one disaster into the next.

I used to just jump onto every idea and enterprise that sounded promising, not really weighing the benefits against the risks. Thus I tried to be a chemist, homeopath, nurse, computer scientist, IT-business woman, owner of an arts and crafts business, Avon representative and I was thinking about training as milliner, interior designer, hairdresser and teacher – I might even have forgotten about a few things that I tried. Yep, I always was quick in my decisions and if something cropped up I was on board.

If this is ‘living in the present’ – that didn’t take me anywhere, really. Well, I am claiming to have remnants of skills from that period of my life, and a friend is actually daring enough to try me next weekend as a hairdresser. Will keep you posted on that one.

All this non-achieving inevitably led to dwelling in the past, usually resulting in an outcry of: ‘Why me? Again!’ when another enterprise went down the drain, and endless telephone calls with my friend about the unfairness of the world and all the occasions when it happened to me.

Dwelling means staying on and revisiting the same thing over and over again. The trick is not to revisit incidents, but to find the telling things they have in common. It’s the looking behind the curtains that make the past so interesting. Leaving the room with a door banging that makes the wood split, on which one will catch a splinter the next day, or throwing the scissors which don’t curl the gift wrap properly so that it breaks the jar with marbles in a room which is a mess anyway and glass and marbles are everywhere so one can’t go to the party for which the damn gift was to be wrapped in the first place – one could at least have thrown the gift wrap instead.

This clearly is an anger management problem. So no point in dwelling over the occurrences – it’s the build up of steam that needs addressing. BTW: The glass fiasco had an instant healing effect on the steam problem. After that I’d rather chose to go into sulking mode instead – much less messy.

As for the worrying about the future: the only thing I always was good with has been money. That doesn’t necessarily mean that I have a Scrooge McDuck personality – at least I hope I have not - but I always had a clear idea of how much I earn, how much I need and how much is left over for spending. Although I didn’t get round to planning for the later future dealing with the pension problem, I at least didn’t have any debt building up and then of course I had dreams. Wanted a car, I love pets, for pets one needs a house,… and a garden… Oh yes, a garden! And travelling would be lovely.

Planning ahead makes sense. No point of planning a big party for friends on the 24th December when all your friends are German. Again knowledge comes in handy, since Germans have their exchanging gifts on the 24th at night and meet with the family.

Thus I pretty much changed from a ‘jumper’ into an ‘organiser’. In my heart of hearts I am still a chaotic person, but I tamed the beast and it becomes me. Now for me ‘living in the present’ means: revisiting the past to find the information needed to plan my future in order to be able to enjoy the present when I get there.