Christmas Perfectionism & Compliance

or

'The search for a way out'

I came across a column published in the 'Mail Online' claiming that Christmas stress is home made by women. I have to admit: The author has a point. I was like that, and since I changed it I was always wondering why I feel obliged to excuse my lack of Christmas enthusiasm:

Oh see, we don’t have kids. Christmas with tree and all is only really nice with kids. And in the meantime our house is so cluttered I have to re-organise everything to get the tree in. Well, and our parents are not travelling over Christmas… no, we don’t travel either. We didn’t do that when we were back in Germany. The traffic is horrendous and so many people died in accidents. Our parents never wanted us to travel. So no, we are not going to see our families.

Truth is: I probably miss one single trip to a Christmas market. I'd liked to have a ham roll and a bag of caramelised almonds. But that is enough, anything beyond that is just plain noisy, smelly and exhausting. I’d like to see my parents for one lunch and probably an afternoon tea. And I’d like to have a Christmas tree for probably 3 days. It just creates such a lovely atmosphere. But again, beyond that, the tree is a nuisance taking a lot of place, the cat will smash another few baubles and throw up over the tinsel it has nibbled.

Would I have a traditional Christmas

• I would have gained at least 5 pounds - I know that because it happened in the past
• I won’t be able to shift this weight at least until summer - which I know about because it happened before
• I would have taken at least 3 additional days of my A/L to get everything in place before, and to tidy up after, and
• I will be going back to work in the New Year and be happy that eventually everything is back to normal and that I can relax now. Later in the year when the weather is lovely, I will be missing those additional 3 days of leave which I took and wasted, and I know that because I experienced it before.

Thus it will be the 3^rd year now that I am skipping Christmas. Hubby and I, we just don’t go there. And it is wonderful. Well, I did gain weight in the previous two years due to biscuits and cakes during the run-up to Christmas - that stuff is just jumping into ones face from every shelf. This year it’s only 2 weeks to go and I even lost some thanks to the sugar experiment. I didn’t fall into the trap and I am proud of it. Additionally I set me a challenge for end of February – a new photo shoot. I am looking forward to catching up with a few things I always wanted to do: Eventually I will be able to read, to find out how to publish my book, and to start work on the new IL site.

Well, and as for the excuses… it's a female thing to play down a great thing in front of her girl friends to not make them feel bad. And although everybody seems to love Christmas, nobody loves the run-up to it. I have a hunch that some of my friends might like to have what I have, at least for once, to try it out. Maybe not to the full extreme, only just a little bit. But they can’t. There are the family commitments, the tit-for-tat game that has to be played in regard to gifts, the kids who do like Christmas and are not to be disappointed, and no two ways about it: Food is the pinnacle of hospitality and hence has to be perfect. So I play down my joy about my Christmas lifestyle, allowing them to pity me.

In the end of the day however, we are all responsible for our own actions and I think the Mail column is tapping right into the IL philosophy: If you like it, then go ahead. If you are not happy, then stop moaning and change it. Doesn’t have to be drastic, small changes sometimes work wonders.

So I am wholeheartedly wishing you a wonderful Christmas with your families. Enjoy the festive season to the full, and no need to pity me.